Talking Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house:'Talking Dog for Sale'
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says,'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they
had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the United
States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is 'The Devil Dogs.'

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was
awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm
just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'

'Because he's such a bull******ter .. He never did any of that ******. He was in
the Navy!'